Michael Jackson: I wanted so badly to play in the park across the street because the kids were playing baseball and football but I had to record. I could see the park, right across the street. But I had to go in the other building and work until late at night making the albums. I sat there looking at the kids with tears running down my face and I would say, “I am trapped and I have to do this for the rest of my life. I'm under contract.” But I wanted to go over there so bad it was killing me, just to make a friend to say, “Hi.” You know...just to do that. I used to walk the streets looking for people. I told you that didn't I?MJ: Aha.
SB: So you could change him that way.
MJ: Aha. I was hoping I could . . . I was hoping I could get love from other people, ’cause I needed it real bad, you know? You need . . . you need love. You need love . . . that’s the most important thing.
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Transcripts
Michael Jackson on His Father, Joe Jackson
Michael Jackson: He did a brilliant job with training me for the stage as an artist, but [as a] father he was very, very strict. I hate to judge him, but I would have done things a lot different as a father. I never felt love from him. I remember being on the airplane and they used to have to carry me on the plane because I hated turbulence and I would be screaming and kicking because we would take off in storms. I remember it very clearly. He would never hold me or touch me and the stewardesses would have to come and hold my hand and caress me.
Michael Jackson on Aging
MJ: I don’t want a long [life]. . . I don’t like, I don’t, I don’t. I think growing old is the ugliest, the most, the ugliest thing. When the body breaks down and you start to wrinkle, I think it’s so bad. I don’t, that’s something I don’t understand...And I never want to look in the mirror and see that. I don’t understand it. I really don’t. And people say that growing old is beautiful and it’s this and that. I disagree. I totally do.
Michael Jackson on Children
MJ: My greatest dream that I have left—I have accomplished my dreams with music and all that and I love music and entertainment—is this children’s initiative, is this thing that we are doing. But, um, ’cause I don’t care about [anything else], I really don’t, I don’t care about [career], I honestly don’t... What keeps me going is children, or else I would, I would seriously. . . I’ve told you this before, I swear to God I mean every word. I would, I would just throw in the towel if it wasn’t for children or babies. And that’s my real, my honest [answer]. . . and I’ve said it before, if it weren’t for children, I would choose death. I mean it with all my heart.
Michael Jackson on Fame
MJ: I am going to say something I have never said before and this is the truth. I have no reason to lie to you and God knows I am telling the truth. I think all my success and fame and I have wanted it, I have wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That’s all. That’s the real truth. I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved. I said I know I have an ability. Maybe if I sharpened my craft, maybe people will love me more. I just wanted to be loved because I think it is very important to be loved and to tell people that you love them and to look in their eyes and say it.
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About the Book
In these searingly honest conversations, Michael exposes his emotional pain and profound loneliness, his longing to be loved, and the emptiness of his fame. You discover why he was suspicious of women and how only children provided the innocence for which he so desperately longed.
In his own words, he takes us into the jarring moments of his childhood and speaks of the measures he took to try and heal. He divulges how he came to be alienated from his strong religious anchor and describes his views on the nature of faith. Michael brings us into his tortured yet loving relationship with his siblings. He opens up about his father and his yearning for a time when they might finally reconcile. He talks about his most personal friendships and shares with us his terror of growing old.
Despite his unprecedented fame and recent death, there remain unanswered questions about his life. The answers, presented here in The Michael Jackson Tapes, will both intrigue and move you. You will be surprised, riveted, and troubled as you peer into the soul of a tragic icon whose life is an American morality tale and whose flame was extinguished much too early.
